Arianna Folsom Posts

The following is a copy of the email message I just sent to both Meesh and Arianna.

From: Puddy Tat <bigblackpuddytat@gmail.com>
4:08 PM (42 minutes ago)
To: mesh********@gmail.com, ariannaf***om@gmail.com
Subject: Trying to put an end to the bullshit


@Arianna,  congratulations. You’ve finally succeeded in destroying the friendship Mesheala and I had. You’re a shitty human but at least you’re winning when it comes to lies and bullshit. Oh BTW.. thanks for linking yourself to her in your profile because it makes it easier to expose your lies and BS.

@Meesh, I’ve been trying to deescalate the BS between us since before it started. I don’t know why you would believe anything that Arianna has said about me given that she has lied to you repeatedly. She’s been trying to drive a wedge between us ever since she saw how close we were at VidCon.

Remember that conversation we had where we pieced together how she told you not to talk to me when you came to get your shit and she lied to me about you NOT telling her where you were and what you were doing?


She’s lied about me this whole time and you know it ( here’s a refresher in case you’ve forgotten: https://www.ariannafolsom.com/in-the-meantime/ ). 

Back in April when you started getting really flirty with me and I asked you what was up you came at me talking about us hooking up. I respected you enough to tell you why I thought it was a bad idea. Has anyone and I mean ANYONE ever shown you that level of respect? You know how I felt about you and anyone else would have jumped at the chance to get down with you, maybe that’s why you turned on me, I don’t know. 


The point is, you know what kind of person I am. Why would you buy into some bullshit from someone who you know is fucked in the head and lies all the time?


I’ve been avoiding airing out all our shit but your escalation has painted me into a corner. Your comment about me going to jail “for the shit he did” puts me into the same dangerous position that Ari did when she started lying about me trying to get her kid taken. I’m not going to play games. I’m telling you that I do not want to make you an enemy. We’ll never be friends again but we can both just walk away from this. I can’t do that if you keep putting my life in danger with reckless statements.


You’re being manipulated by a master manipulator. You’ve seen her do it to other people and now she’s doing it to you. Hell, you told me exactly what she was doing and how. Remember how she lied to you about the conversation she and I were supposed to have before PlayList and she told you that I was trying to get back with her then I showed you the text messages that proved I wasn’t?  I only wanted to have an honest conversation and she refused to tell the truth. 


What about whet when she told you that I was talking shit about you after VidCon 2019? Remember me sending you the text messages between her and myself and the section of the conversation I had with her where you came up? It all proved that she lied to you over and over again. 


Whatever it is that you think I’ve done is a lie. Ask yourself the following questions: If I did something so bad to her, why did you JUST recently find out about it? She told you about her fucking Dylan and the random hookup in Florida and the bullshit about her using me. She let you know the FBI thing was all bullshit. Why would she NOT tell you if I did something fucked up to her RIGHT when it happened? I haven’t spent any time or energy on her or the site in MONTHS. I was ready to walk away from it all back in August when you told me you had a recording of her talking about fucking Dylan and admitting to using me and lying about me. The certificate for the domain expired in November and I was happy to be done with it. Her bullshit on UpLive and you buying into her lies has proven to me that I can’t trust her to just move on. She’ll always lie because she’s petty and small minded, which you know. Why you’d choose to involve yourself with her is beyond me.



I never wanted to fight with you. I had to cut you off when it became clear that you were lying to me and being disrespectful, that’s it. Even after that I’ve been protecting you from your own irrational hot-headed behavior but that’s at an end now. Either we can hash this out and agree to avoid escalating things or I’ll do what I have to do to protect myself. Your call


BTW.. I’ll be posting this message online for everyone to see what I’ve said since I can’t trust either of you NOT to be on some bullshit

I’m not sure whether I’ll go through and elucidate all of the bullshit with Ariana for the Year in Review but I know that people have questions about me, her, the drama, etc. Here’s your chance to get your questions answered.

Why?

1. There are things I wish I’d known about Arianna and her patterns of abuse. This is a chance for me to help the next person
2. Arianna is really good at keeping people from talking to each other. She talks about me all the time and makes me out to be some mythical figure. Her’s a chance for everyone to see that I’m just a normal person. You can talk to me. We can have a civil exchange
3. Lastly, I’m moving on to other things. When I started this site it was simply to put up my side of the story because Arianna lied about me so much that people were threatening my life. Since then I’ve shown how Arianna repeatedly lied and vilified me for no reason. There’s nothing else for me to prove here. I’m not taking down the site but I am going to focus on other things and this is a good way for me to close this chapter. I’ll answer any questions then get on with the rest of my life.

How can I get my question answered?

You can call and leave a voicemail message or send SMS: 517.742.2552

Yes, this is really one of my numbers. No, it’s not my main number. It won’t actually ring my phone, so all calls to that number will go to voicemail. I won’t be looking at text messages until it’s time to answer questions so don’t expect a response.

You can send me a message on SnapChat: DoubleOPuddy

You can send email: BigBlackPuddyTat@gmail.com

I’ll hold two live streams where you can ask questions, live. I’ve unblocked everyone, even the Alpaca and Arianna. Everyone can come an play along. The live sessions will be on Sunday October 4th (between 9p and 11p Eastern) and Sunday October 11th (same times).

Some time after October 1st I’ll put up a page with responses. I’ll respond to every question I get between now and November 15th.

The rules are:

• Don’t be a dick. While I’m personally inured, people around me tend to get upset when others act like dicks. For the sake of having healthy discussion, I ask that you conduct yourself with a modicum of civility. If you can’t manage that, you’ll be kicked/banned/blocked.
• Anything that could reasonably be construed as a threat of bodily harm, harassment, incitement to violence or anything else of the sort will be reported to the authorities irrespective of who the target is.
• I will respect your privacy: If you don’t want to be identified. just say so and I’ll leave your name out when I respond. Obviously that doesn’t work if you come into my live stream and ask there.
• Off limit topics:
  • None — you can ask anything but that doesn’t mean you’ll get a satisfactory answer.
• Questions probably not worth asking:
  • Anything dehumanizing — While I love good japes and gibes as much as the next homonid, the point of this little exercise is to answer questions that actually might matter to people.
  • Anything related to the people who made threats against me — I’m not going to incriminate myself.
  • Questions about who I hate, who I’m mad at, or whether I plan to get back at anyone — First, I’m not going to incriminate myself. Second, I don’t hate anyone tied to all of this. I don’t care enough about Arianna to hate her. Ruby (Dabs) is a piece of shit not worth commenting on, Dylan might be a great guy but to me he’s been a piece of shit so as far as I know, he’s a piece of shit. MoonShine is so vapid, she makes dirt look scholarly. Alpaca… well I don’t believe in being cruel to animals so… no comment.
  • Questions about me being willing to forgive — If someone did something and they apologize, I’m willing to forgive them. Forgiving doesn’t mean I’ll trust them but we could at least get past the transgressions. Alpaca could apologize for attacking me for no reason and I’d forgive her. We’d never be friends but I could forgive. Opie could apologize for saying stupid shit and I’d forgive him. Brian L (Ari’s bouncer not the TopBadge) could apologize for being a little bitch and I’d forgive him. Ruby could apologize for being a piece of shit and I’d forgive her. I’d never have any of those people in my circle again but I could forgive their shitty behavior.
  • Questions that would ‘out’ people who are still in Arianna’s circle — I get messages every week from people who Arianna thinks are her friends. Some record their conversations with her, some give me summaries of the latest lies she’s trying to push, etc. It’s funny and sad that she has no idea how many people in her circle see right through her bullshit. To be clear, these are people who sought me out because she lied to them in the beginning, they bought into it and when they realized that she was lying they contacted me 1) to apologize and 2) to give me a heads up. I won’t betray their confidence

It’s coming up on one year since I first tried to step away from my narcissistic abuser, Arianna Folsom. Since then, I’ve dealt with much in the way of harassment (at her behest), death threats, anxiety, social isolation, and more. When I started this website it was with a heavy heart. At the time my understanding was:

• Arianna had cheated on me with another man and was covering it up by gaslighting me
• Arianna was lying about me, the nature of our relationship, and my character and conduct to her new conquests (Nugget/Nik, and AlpacaAnna)
• Because of the above lies, Nugget and I grew closer while Alpaca decided to attack and harass me without provocation.
• When I published pictures of my message exchanges with Arianna showing that she’d lied to Anna and Nugget, Arianna tried to bully me into silence.
• When the bullying didn’t work, she started claiming that I was trying to get her son taken away. She put on a very sappy sympathy exhibit for her viewers on MeetMe talking about me constantly, claiming that I was harassing her when in fact it was her and her viewers that were harassing me.
• At some point (in November) one of her viewers found one of my YouTube channels and made a death threat that was immediately taken down by YouTube but I saw the notification before the message was removed.
• I started getting a slew of death threats that I first wrote off as keyboard commando bullshit then I get a very personal threat sent to me that included specific details about my life and information about my nieces, who I do not discuss online.
• At that point I went to the police and turned over my phones (three of them) so they could do what they needed to do investigate the threats.
• I notified Arianna (around November 12th) that I had to turn over my phone to the authorities because, her claims that I was trying to get her son taken away from her lead to me turning over my phones to the authorities in multiple different jurisdictions and any one of them might happen see the text messages from her that discussed the times she drove drunk to pick up her son from school or the time she left him standing outside for hours because she was too high and fucked up to remember to go get him. In short: her actions created a situation where she could actually loose her son.
• On November 15th, I registered ariannafolsom.com to put up my side of the story because Arianna was too enamored of the attention she was getting from playing the victim. She’s a narcissist and needs to be the center of attention. She couldn’t care less if her actions lead to harm for me, all she wanted was to bask in the glow of those rallying around her because of her lies.

Less than a week after posting my first article the death threats stopped (largely). Apparently there was enough there that contradicted her version of events that the few people she’d tricked into threatening me took a step back.

November is just around the corner and I’ve been thinking about all the shit I’ve been through just because a shitty person feels so bad about herself that she needs to visit wrath upon those who get fed up with her bullshit and walk away from her. When we were together I bent over backwards to take care of her. When we broke up, I knew that she’d fucked Dylan but I let her lie go unchallenged because I don’t care who she fucks. I do care about being disrespected and I wasn’t going to tolerate disrespect, so I left. I wished her well and I thought that would be the end of it. Instead Alpaca fires off at me (again unprovoked), I try to work it out with Arianna and her lies lead to the situation we’re in now.

Since the breakup, I’ve discovered so much more about the ways she was lying and manipulating and I plan to discuss and dissect some of the things I found out:

• Her lying about me pursuing her as a GF when she’s the one who pursued a relationship with me
• Her lying about me messaging her all the time and being obsessed with her to her ex Victoria (we had conversations that clarified exactly how Arianna would use triangulation and gossip as a wedge between us)
• Her lying to Anna about me being controlling and sycophantic
• Her fucking Dylan (I discovered audio of them fucking that got caught by the tablet I bought for her son. The Amazon Alexa recordings ended up in my amazon account)
• Her lying to a slew of women she was trying to hook up with claiming either that I was just a fan who wanted to support her (making me sound like a fucking sugar daddy) or completely denying that we had any type of relationship at all
• The ways in which she talks shit about everyone in her life (and I do mean everyone) to make you predisposed to believe her future lies about them. She wants to stay in between you and everyone else so you can’t get together and compare notes to uncover her lies
  • One example is her talking about someone in the fashion industry named Michael Bui. She told me this sob story about how he used his wife Mida to get her into bed in a threesome knowing that she (Arianna) is into women (and presumably not into men although that’s a falsehood. She still insists that she’s a lesbian despite carrying on three secret sexual relationships with men during the time we were together). According to the story she told, during the threesome Michael was pushy and didn’t respect her boundaries. Afterward, according to Arianna, he kept rubbing up against her and hovering around her making her feel uncomfortable while they were at this industry event in Vegas. She said he kept pressuring her for sex absent the participation of Mida. Now, it’s important for me to say that Arianna is probably lying about that whole thing. Michael Bui probably has a completely different view of what happened and I’d bet that Mida’s and Michael’s views are closer to reality than the story Arianna told. So why would she do that? Because 1) it’s good for sympathy and 2) it gives her cover. If I buy into her version of events that I am less likely to be friendly with Michael and Mida who are both in her industry. She can keep the truth from coming out by staying in the middle, telling them things about me and telling me things about them. She’s a really good manipulator.

It’s emotionally draining to talk about some of this because while I quickly let go of my attachment to Arianna, it took a while for me to stop reacting to her ploys for more narcissistic supply from me. She’d do something and I’d react. Now there’s nothing she can do to cause any response other than me sending a packet of prepared documents to CPS, Orange County Sheriff’s dept, San Diego Sheriff’s dept, and the FBI. I’ve stopped caring about her wholesale. I don’t care about how she’s doing, what she’s doing, or anything else. I don’t care if she’s happy, sad, depressed, whatever. Unfortunately, I’m still recovering from the toll of having to deal with a narcissistic abuser’s smear campaign.

I’ve been working on a few projects that are about to launch and it would be nice to completely put all of this behind me. I don’t want to have to maintain a website about my crazy piece of shit ex and all the things she’s lied about or put me through. I’ve reached out to Arianna multiple times to try to put an end to the bullshit. I let it be known that I have no interest in being friends but we could at least stop wasting people’s time with her lies about me and me needing to tell the truth in a public forum (this web site) unfortunately she insists on holding on to her lies.

As a result she, ironically, is keeping this site up. This site would have been gone long ago if she’d just told the truth. The last time I made an offer to get past all of this was around May and she decided to lie about me, again claiming that I was obsessed with her. Since I can’t trust her not to continue to lie, the only way this site will get taken down is if she makes a public statement acknowledging all of the bullshit she’s responsible for and I do mean all of it. I know things now that she would never think I’d know of because after the site went up, people who had seen what a shitty person she is started sending me droves of text messages, recorded conversations, clips from her live streams, and more. So a half-assed partial admission won’t work. It would have to be the whole shebang and it would have to be very public. Her narcissism won’t allow her to make such an admission so this site will likely be up for years to come. I run my own servers and just renewed the hosting agreements at the various data centers I use for the next 5 years.

If you’re pissed off that there’s a site about her and you think it should be taken down, then encourage her to come clean. It costs me nothing to maintain this site so I can leave it on autopilot for the next decade or more.

Whoever is behind the lyingPOS account on instagram, please stop trying to involve me in your bullshit. I want nothing whatsoever to do with that madness. Yes, Arianna is a lying POS and should own up to her bullshit but shoving it in peoples faces is not my thing. I set up a website and kept my mouth shut. I don’t condone going around and pushing your shit on others.

I don’t care that you’re still in her circle and she doesn’t know who you are. I don’t care that you have more recordings for me. I don’t care that you have proof of other crimes she’s committed or that she’s used and lied about other people.

If it’s who I think it is (based on the apology comment that I refuse to publish or respond to) then you were part of the problem in the beginning with the death threats and bullshit. If you want to turn yourself in to the police, by all means, be my guest. If you want to implicate Arianna in inciting people to harass me, talk to the cops not me.

You do your thing but leave me TF out of it.

Update: here let me try to be a bit more compassionate. Look, I get that you may feel betrayed. You trusted someone who you thought was being victimized and found out that it was all lies. Ok. If you did fucked up shit because you believed them then THAT problem is with you not them. Stop trying to set people up and either confront them or walk away. Trust me, walking away from her is life changing.

Now leave me TF out of your shit

This is the kind of person Arianna is. After lying about me for over a year and actively inciting people to attack and harass me, she thinks I should take down the site just because she hasn’t said shit about me in 3 months. That BTW is a lie. The whole not saying shit about me thing is pure fiction.

Just a couple of weeks ago she went on a 20 minute rant about how she was fed up with people who go to her live streams, catch her lying, and then screen record her lying and send it to me. That wasn’t back in May (3 months ago) that was 3 weeks ago at the beginning of July. In that rant she called me all sorts of names and even trotted out a new fiction since everyone now knows about her old lies. I’ll spare you the details.

So the lying piece of shit wants me to take down the site that I was forced to erect because of her piece of shit lies.

Let me say that again: She, Arianna, is a lying piece of shit. The only reason this site exists is because she lied about me so much that people started making death threats, there was zero reason for this site to exist otherwise and she knows that. She knew it at the time and I even tried to have her put an end to the BS before it got to the point of me needing to create a website with her name to get the truth out. Now, she thinks that 1) I’m dumb enough to believe that she’s not still spreading lies about me and 2) I should take down the site just because of a 3 month period where she alleges that she hasn’t talked (and presumably, as a result, hasn’t lied) about me.

She hasn’t owned up to the lies. She hasn’t recanted the bullshit. All she’s done is play the victim and act like I’m the unreasonable one because I had the audacity to stand up for myself and not accept her bullshit.

How can you assert that you’ve not said anything about me for 3 months when two weeks ago you were lying about me (again), this website, and “certain agencies” saying that I was “really big” and you should just block me? You claim to have been bullied all because people found out that you’re a lying piece of shit and instead of trying to be a better person you lie more?

Arianna, if you really want me to take down the site all you have to do is stop being a piece of shit and recant all the lies. I mean every single one. Go read Comment and Questions let me know when you’ve uploaded your video and we can talk. Until then, no… I’m not taking it down period. You can stop wondering now.

KThxBai

For those that didn’t know, most of the videos posted here on this site came from the people who watch Arianna’s streams on MeetMe. The people she thinks are her ‘fans’ turn around and send me things all the time and now I’m asking for them to stop. I’ve already told my friends to stop bringing her BS around me but there are a bunch of people who know of me only because she constantly talks about me (like she’s obsessed or something) and they tracked me down to send me clips of her lunacy.

I appreciate that so many of you find it entertaining to watch someone meltdown and self destruct but I do not. I do not care about Arianna and her bullshit. I got out and suggest you do the same. Her rants, her lies, her drama, her fake tears and everything else is just part of a cry for attention from a deeply insecure, alcoholic, substance-abusing person with zero coping skills for navigating this world as an adult.

There’s absolutely nothing I have to gain by watching or listening to her, ZERO. Best case scenario: she apologizes and owns up to the bullshit she’s responsible for. It’ll never happen but if it did, it would be just another manipulation tactic. She feeds off of attention. Stop feeding into her delusions.

The second best thing I ever did in my life was to stop caring about Arianna completely. I can’t tell you how freeing it was. I don’t hate her because I just don’t care enough to hate her. It’s a great place to be in and it’s here I plan to stay so don’t darken my days with BS and drama she’s not worth it.

Here’s the text of the message I actually sent:

This is what Arianna has claimed about me most recently (as of mid April, 2020). This is here simply for reference because I’ll refer back to some of these in subsequent posts.

All of this is simply an attempt by Arianna to gain access to the audio of her having sex with Dylan. She’s probing to see who can give her the password so she can gauge how to respond and attempt to discredit me. EVERYTHING she asserts below is a lie but then again it’s easy to lie and just let others deal with the fall out.

Update (5/11/2020): Arianna REALLY doesn’t want you to know that she’s a “lesbian” who fucks guys. She (or someone on her behalf) had YouTube remove the original video embedded below. Too bad for her that I always have contingency plans.

Interesting the things that come out when they’re drunk.

This is a note that I’d sent to Arianna in September of 2019 just before we broke up. This elucidates several issues and insecurities that she later used against me because she’s a manipulative piece of shit.

I’m now apprehensive about bringing up things based on the way our conversation went after VidCon. Never the less, I have to look out for my own psychological wellbeing and it’s not fair for me to avoid communicating. 

Standard Disclaimer here

========================

I’m not leaving you. I’m not going anywhere. I feel it’s important for you to know where my head is with regard to certain things and everything I say is in the spirit of love, sharing, and openness.

Me and my insecurities and uncertainty

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Before VidCon I felt like I knew where I stood and who I was to you. All of that was thrown out the window when things went down the way they did over the course of several days. It wasn’t one thing it was a bunch of things piled up one after the other.

Before VidCon, I knew absolutely that you were a lesbian who was not attracted to men, at all. After VidCon, I felt like you’re a lesbian who’s just not attracted to me

Before VidCon, I felt like I was the one guy who you trusted and that we could share any and everything. After VidCon, I felt like there were things kept from me and that I hadn’t been as trusted or as special as I once thought.

Before VidCon, I’d hoped (but never expected) that we would be able to explore sexuality and being sexual without having sex. I get that you’re a lesbian and I never expected you to be into me, physically. At the same time, women have vibrators and they’re not into metal and plastic. I brought up the topic three specific times and you seemed uncomfortable with it so I dropped it. As much as I love giving pleasure, it’s not a deal breaker for me. After VidCon, part of the betrayal I felt was due to my perception that you were willing to explore sexuality with a man and that man wasn’t me. Suddenly it wasn’t “oh she’s a lesbian and I’m the special guy who’s still not a girl” it was “oh.. I get it, I’m the punk/chump and she’s just into different types of men”

Before VidCon, I felt like we could be physically affectionate and that it was just a slow process because we don’t get to see each other that often. After VidCon, I realized that you’re just not comfortable being physically affectionate with me because I’m male.

Before VidCon, I thought you were proud to be in the relationship we’d built together. After VidCon, I felt like you were ashamed to admit that you had a boyfriend.

Side note: This was compounded later by your comments about you not being in a “real relationship” since Victoria. I get it, I’m not a chick. I don’t like feeling that I’m just a place holder until you find what you really want.

There’s more but I’m not trying to list every single thing. Also, it’s important to understand that I’m talking about how things FEEL/FELT to me. I understand that reality is frequently different from ones perception and further that one can FEEL one way about something in the moment but understand that the momentary feeling is not the totality of the situation.

Also, I’m not asking for you to change anything. I’m JUST taking about how I feel.

Because of the recent upheaval, I’ve been trying to figure out where I sit. We had a huge emotionally draining conversation and then I stopped hearing from you and wasn’t able to talk to you and I’m left drifting. You mentioned needing to take a break (from social media) and I respect that. I stopped calling you. We message occasionally and I’m trying not to be needy but I’m feeling super insecure.

You talked to Jelly after all the BS she pulled and I’m thinking “why can she talk to Jelly during this ‘break’ but not me?”. It’s not like I actually care but my insecurities start taking over. 

Same thing with Dillon being at your place. I look at the comments in your stream and think “yeah.. no one knows that I’m her BF and they think this guy (who looks more like Dino than he looks like me) is her boyfriend”. Worse, I’m thinking “soooo she sends out multiple snaps with her and Dillon together but never sent one with the two of us.” Again, I don’t REALLY care but my insecurity starts going all over the place with this like that. I feel like a dick for not just being happy that Damien has a friend he’s comfortable with but in the back of my head I feel like the breakthrough we had before I left was usurped by this new thing with Dillon and that hurts. It shouldn’t and I should get over myself but the FEELINGS are that. Also, I didn’t know who Dillon was or even that he’d be staying with you. As a partner I try to let you know about all of the major things going on in my life and I feel like I don’t get the same in return.

The reasons I can’t spend much time in your live stream(s)

==========================================================

1. It’s hard not being able to call you and talk about life-partner stuff and then try to compete for your attention with everyone else. It’s shitty when you’re sober and maddening when you’re drunk. Today, for example, I waited for you to end your live so that we could talk about the Chucky Doll and it never happened because you were drunk and didn’t know what you were saying or doing.
2. It’s demeaning to be your boyfriend and listen to you go on about “…I’m a lesbian…you don’t have anything that can satisfy me….” or “…no no because you have that silly ridiculous thing called a penis…”. I get that it’s your way of rebuffing unwanted advances from men. It would be nice if I didn’t have to be emasculated at the same time.
3. I’m broken. I don’t know if you realize how many times you say “that’s （so hot” to guys when you battle them or when they’re in your box. It used to never bother me. Now it triggers severe anxiety
4. The person you are when you’re drunk. I just can’t watch that anymore. It used to be a rarity and now it’s the norm. It would be one thing if you took responsibility for the things you do and say but several times you’ve been like “I was drunk… I don’t know” or “noooo I didn’t say that… did I?”
5. I don’t know where I fit in anymore.

Wrapping up

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Much of the above is on me to figure out. I don’t want you to feel like I’m asking for anything from you other than understanding. I know that you love me. Knowing alone doesn’t keep me from feeling certain ways at certain times.

What is it that you want?

————————————————————————-

When I got into this relationship with you I knew that things would be challenging. There’s the distance; The schedules we have to honor and work with (your son’s, my wife’s, etc); our politics; the emotional baggage that we each bring.

I didn’t start a fake relationship with you. I love you and I’m committed to you. What I want out of our relationship is love, physical (non-sexual) and emotional affection, duty (meaning my duty to you… a sense of knowing what I can do for you), honor (honoring each other as partners in life), respect ( I wouldn’t allow someone to disrespect you; I would hope you’d not let someone disrespect me), and a long future that we plan and build together.

I don’t know what you want out of our relationship. 

Side notes:

1. on respect: I say “I would hope…” because you seem to be completely dismissive of the issues of (dis)respect that occur between men. When I mentioned the thing about me supporting Dino (by gifting, and promoting his streams, and talking to him about working out together) you asked when I was doing all that as if the timeframe was relevant to the issue of disrespect. I knew of Dino in Feb and was trying to support him through May when he disappeared. That’s only four months. It doesn’t matter when within the four months you two started having your sexual conversations. What matters, for me, is that I supported your “friend” and that “friend” disrespected our relationship. I don’t care whether he did it in March or May. His conduct was disrespectful to our relationship and I will forever have an issue with him as a result. I don’t expect you to really get it but the way you dismissed it was disconcerting. I’m telling you that there as an issue of respect that’s important to me and you poo-poo’d it. If you don’t understand it, I would hope you’d have enough respect for me and my calm and rational demeanor to understand that there is a real issue there even if you can’t SEE the issue yourself. Similarly, Jelly was disrespectful to me (as an individual) and to us as a couple and as friends who extended several courtesies to her. I’m baffled as to why you continued to speak to her given that she had disrespected you partner and made no attempts to make amends. If someone disrespects you once, they are out of my life period. If they want to apologize and you accept it, cool. If not, they can GTFO. That’s the type of honor and respect I have for you.
2. You’ve rewritten the history of us becoming an item. The last time it came up you said “…when you asked, I was like well yeah we’re basically already like boyfriend and girlfriend…”. For the record: You, in your live stream told me that I was now your boyfriend. I said “don’t play, you know I already love you.” You said “no I’m serious, tell Waterbear that you’re my boyfriend”. To which I replied “ok, if you’re serious, send me your address and I’ll get you a now-we’re-dating gift”. That’s when you sent me your mother’s address in Encinitas and that’s when I ordered the flowers. I wanted to follow up with you when we met in person to talk about expectations and it was important for me to let you know that 1) I respected your boundaries and who you were as a person and 2) that I’m not interested in casual/disposable relationships. I’m in this for the long haul as a dedicated partner.