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Tag: folsom

Me and my issues and what I need moving forward

Published by PuddyTat on April 30, 2020

This is a copy of the letter I had sent to Arianna AFTER we broke up. She’d been talking as if she wanted to get back together and I was not inclined to put up with more of her bullshit. If we were going to try it I needed to have her understand that I wasn’t going to put up with any more bullshit.

I spent a great deal of time distilling down what the issues are for me and what I need moving forward. This is an attempt to capture what’s in my head.
Side notes:
Reading:    

Love Languages by Gary Chapman   

Emotional Blackmail by Susan Forward    I recommend reading these to get an idea of some of the topics I’ll bring up. They are short reads and generally beneficial for understanding how to think about relationships.       Read up on “Tie signs” as it relates to romantic relationships. 
Other people and what they think: There is a difference between caring what other people think and having basic self respect and dignity. I am sick of being disrespected. I’m sick of you being an accessory to said disrespect. I’m stick of you contributing to and perpetuating the disrespect.


Dino: 

  1. I trusted you to honor our relationship and that trust was violated in two ways
  2. you weren’t forthcoming about our relationship with him
  3. you weren’t forthcoming about the conversations you had with him

This had the affect of making me feel like a fool because I’d supported Dino as your “friend” and he was trying to fuck you. I can’t tell you how fucked up that makes me feel.
Dylan:     Part of the problem is the disconnect on what the actual issue is with Dylan. I never had an issue with how much you speak to him. I do not care whether you talk to or see him more than you talk to or see me. You constantly saying “we’re just friends” is the exact WRONG way to address my concerns. 1) I wasn’t worried about that so you mentioning it makes it one more thing that I feel the need to question 2) My issues are:

  1. I do not believe that he isn’t after more than friendship. You can say whatever you want but I know how I feel about it and there’s no changing that
  2. your conduct and physical contact with him is offensive and off putting
  3. you shouldn’t be drinking and he encourages you to drink
  4. the innuendo, ass slapping, biting, licking, etc is disrespectful
  5. He triggers my anxiety about Dino — To clarify the issue with Dino was never about whether you two were physical. It’s about you marginalizing me and others not understanding and respecting the role I play in your life.
  6. The fact that you called him your “only boyfriend” on your live stream is disrespectful and plays even more on my insecurities
  7. The fact that he doesn’t clarify that you two are just friends and that you’re in a relationship is disrespectful
  8. You said he was your best friend as well. I’ve known you for a year and change.  I, as far as I know, am actually your best friend. I mean that quantitatively and qualitatively. I am a better friend to you than anyone else I know of in your life yet you call that fucker your best friend. The fucker who almost broke your Tommy doll and is generally obnoxious….ok

    The right answer on Dylan would have looked like “you’re right what we did was disrespectful and I care about you enough to tell him what’s wrong and ask for an apology. If he won’t apologize, I’ll do what needs to be done to make sure you understand that I love and respect you.”  instead I got “yeah I know he spat in your face but he really likes my dad so you’ll just have to deal with him continuing to spit in your face because….reasons”. 
    It’s not my fault that you abided disrespectful behavior and dishonored our relationship. YOU DID THAT. Your reluctance to confront it and take the appropriate action tells me that you probably don’t respect me enough to have an open and honest relationship. if you care more about your relationship with Dylan than doing the right thing for me, then you should focus on that and I’ll focus on getting over you.
I’m a different person now than when we started dating a year ago. I’m not willing to take the same shit now that I was willing to take then. Part of it is me just being in a different place given my experiences. Part of it is being fed up with bullshit.
If we’re going to be friends: 

  • I need a public apology for the disrespectful conduct, comments, and lack of transparency about us being in a relationship.
  • You need to make sure that I don’t cross paths with Dylan. There is zero BS in that statement
  • You need to understand that I’m broken and I cannot watch your live streams without it adversely affecting my psyche.

If we’re going to be “together”, all of the above plus:

  • I’m not interested in ‘dating’ only in ‘partnering’ for life. That means a whole different approach to  commitment and responsibility in the relationship — There is a difference between polygamy and not caring. I’m fully in support of an open relationship but open means open communication as much as it means open to exploring relationship with other people.
  • I’m not taking a back seat on physical intimacy anymore. If you can’t be comfortable being physical (not sexual) with me then you don’t deserve my time and attention
  • I’m not going to be a dirty little secret. If you can’t be proud and upfront about the fact that you’re in a relationship with me then I’m not willing to be in the relationship.
  • If I’m not primary partner, then I’m not investing my time/money into the future of the relationship unit (couple, threeple, pod, whatever)
  • You fully own everything you do whether drunk or sober
  • No more disrespect; that includes not abiding others being disrespectful
  • you don’t ask me for alcohol
  • you never use my resources on/for another person — exceptions for Ms. Janz and Healing Power everyone else can go fuck themselves until I feel comfortable about us and where we are.

    I understand that you want to find a lesbian wife and I want you to find someone that makes you happy. I get that you feel that you’ll be judged and never get an opportunity with the women you MIGHT be able to be happy with if they know upfront that you have a BF. I’m not willing to deal with the BS anymore. If chasing a potential relationship is more important than honoring your existing relationship, I’ll wish you luck and remove myself from the situation. I spent quite a bit of time on this one, I’m not willing to be marginalized and disrespected anymore.
I get the disparity in our situations with me having a wife and you wanting a wife. I’m onboard with with non-monagomy, and getting out of the way of your pursuit of relationships as long as you keep me informed. 
Why the change?
I thought I could trust you. it’s been shown that I can’t trust you to show me the respect that I deserve. I can’t trust you to stand up for me and our relationship the way you should. I’m fine being fast and loose with rules as long as I can trust my partner. I don’t care about the outside world when I know what’s going on internally with us. After VidCon I realized that I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t need sex as long as I have physical affection. If I can’t feel that everything is ok, why would I be in the relationship?

Some fucked up disparities and disrespectful shit
You have been talking about coming out to see me since March. you never care enough to make it happen even though I kept bringing it up. Suddenly you’re spending money to jump on a plane to Italy to seem someone you’ve never met instead of coming to see me. I get to see you if I’m willing to pay for it. She get’s to see you because you WANT to see her. Why are you willing to spend your money to see

I’ve seen you mention your trip to Italy in almost every live I’ve been in since we talked about your passport. I’ve not seen/heard you mention coming to Chicago. I’m sure you have but it’s a stark contract for me.
Maribel said/did things that were disrespectful to our relationship. I immediately stopped talking to her. You built the issue of distrust (with Dino). You created the fucked up dynamic with Dylan. I just have to deal with it.
How would you feel if you were in a relationship with a women who said “I can’t tell people that we’re dating because you’re Jewish and I want to find a Muslim to marry. Muslims would judge me for dating a Jewish chick so let me explain it to them when I get a chance and you just pretend that we’re friends until…” ? It’s not a question of how willing you are to accommodate your partner. It’s a question of how much you respect yourself and whether you’re willing to put your self respect aside. I was when I felt that I could trust you. I’m not willing to anymore, even if we rebuild trust. I’m just not.
When I mentioned the issue of physical affection you:

  1. Attacked me saying that I didn’t understand that you’re a lesbian
  2. asserted that your lack of comfort with physical affection with me was because you’re a lesbian and I have “big man energy”
  3. Told me that your comfort with Jelly was because you two had history and you and I didn’t

Your behavior with Dylan puts the lie to all of that. I don’t care that you’re affectionate with Dylan. I care that you have a limit with me that doesn’t exist for other people. The fact that you put that you put that disparity on display is offensive. The fact that it exists is disrespectful.

Everything below this line is my notes (for myself) about our upcoming talk. You can feel free to read them if you wish. I’m putting them here for reference and to be open and transparent. I’m not interested in winning a fight, if I were I’d hide my thoughts from you. What I’m interested in is getting past the BS and having and honest productive conversation

Points of curiosity

  1. When did you send the, now infamous, TXT message to TheAnthony (before or after we started dating) ?
  2. Did anything ever happen with the two of you?
  3. Did you ever have sexual contact with a male during the time we were together or after we broke up?
  4. You constantly say things to reassure me that you’re not doing anything with other men. At the same time you’ve done things when you’re drunk that you don’t remember. It’s entirely plausible that you did SOMEthing with another guy while you were drunk. Maybe sex, maybe not. I could see a scenario where something happened (say with Dylan) and you felt that you had to hide it from me because you still think I care about who you have sex with when I do not. The Dino thing was never about sex. The Dylan thing isn’t about sex. It’s about the double standard you have for “access” to you. I don’t get the same access to you as Dino did. I don’t get the same access to you that Dylan has. I mentioned this after VidCon and you trivialized it talking about how you talk to me more than other people. That missed the entire point.
  • I’d like to know what (exactly) is wrong with what I wrote to you at VidCon. You attacked and dismissed my concerns and when I claimed that there was a misunderstanding you said you understood perfectly what I was saying and proceeded to mischaracterize what I was saying.
  • When did this girl you’re going to see in Italy know about me and what did you tell her about our relationship?

After the posts I made on SnapChat, a few people (that you know…like either in real life or frequently talk to or battle or met at a party) hit me up to say basically the same thing: When they saw the way you act with Dylan, it looks like you two love each other. When they saw us together it looked like I worked for you. That’s based on YOUR behavior. The way you are physically with each of us. The point is that you don’t act like I’m a loved one (with physical affection) and I was your fucking boyfriend. You act like you love Dylan and he’s “just a friend”. That is fucked…period.
Put another way, you treat me like a serf or a servant when I’m supposed to be your boyfriend (your life partner). You treat other people (Jelly, C***, Dylan, etc) the way other people would expect you to behave with a lover or a loved one. I get your disdain for unsolicited input from others but this isn’t about them jumping to conclusions. This is about a pattern of YOUR behavior that signals to others how you feel about me relative to the people who don’t care for you as much as I do and don’t do as much for you as I have.
Put one more way, you treat me like shit and take me for granted. You are willing to take my money, gifts, etc but can’t be upfront about us being in a relationship, you don’t show me physical affection but you’ll show it to everyone else (women, and males who aren’t me). You’ll talk publicly about what I do for you (as if I’m a fan/sycophant) but have never about what I mean to you. Think about that… you have never said publicly what i mean to you. 
If we look at tie-signs, you have done nothing to tie us together in the public eye. In fact you do much to distance yourself from me publicly and engage in public displays of affection with everyone on the fucking planet BUT me.
The most logical conclusion based on the evidence is that you wanted to have me around to make use of my resources, my ability to provide for you and Damien. In fact some of the people who reached out to me commented that they thought I was your sugar daddy because they rarely saw/heard you mention me in any way that indicated I was your significant other. They heard from me or from others that we were in a relationship and that’s the only indication they had that there was anything there. How fucking pathetic is that shit? You call me babe but you also call like 50 other people babe. You say you love me but you say the same to everyone else. You call me ‘boo-boos’ but you call everyone else the same. You have very adeptly avoided making any public consistent declaration of my importance in your life. 4k

According to Gary Chapman there are 5 love languages: words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, gifts, quality time.
Think about everything I’ve done for you. Please tell me which of the above I haven’t done for you in abundance. Now think about what you have done for me: 

  • Words of affirmation — nope. You say shit like “we’re only friends” or “I talk to you more than anyone else” but you never affirm my importance, significance, or position in your life
  • physical touch — Nope
  • Acts of service — Nope
  • Quality time — Nope. Yes you spend time with me while I’m there. Much of the time you’re drunk, all of the time you’re high. You use me like a baby sitter but you never set aside time for us to connect and spend quality time together. You’ll attend events but that seems to be more about being seen and me being able to tag along (again like a servant or a sycophant) 
  • Gifts — Nope. Yes, you’ve bought me gifts and I love them. The problem is that there’s a difference between just giving a gift and giving a gift that signals significance beyond the object based on your understanding of your partner. As an example your Good Guy Doll. I know how much you wanted that and that you have an emotional attachment to it. Your Batman necklace, I got that for you because I saw it and thought you needed to have it based on my understanding of you and your interests. The batteries, first aid kit, the camera, the tripods, etc all gifts based on my understanding of your needs or interests. You have given me a cartridge, a ring, and a watch. I appreciate them all. None of them are based on YOUR understanding of what’s important or significant to me. You could argue that our shared interest in anime could be tied to the watch.

Now think about all of the above relative to other people in your life

  • Words of affirmation
  • Dylan — Yes
  • C*** — unknown
  • Jelly — Yes
  • Physical touch
  • Dylan — Yes
  • C*** — Yes
  • Jelly— Yes
  • Acts of service
  • UNKNOWN
  • Quality Time
  • Dylan — Yes
  • C*** — Yes
  • Jelly — Yes
  • Gifts
  • UNKNOWN

The lesbian who fucks guys and lies about it

Published by PuddyTat on March 28, 2020

Arianna tried to befriend me after she and Anna broke up. She’s always got to have a villain and she thought that if I would buy into her bullshit that she and I could be friends again and make Anna the villain. Unfortunately, I’m sick of Ari and her BS. She’s sub-human and not a person I want my life. She claims I’m obsessed with her but I’ve been trying to get rid of that piece of shit since October. The only reason I’m having anything at all to do with her is because SHE is obsessed with me. She keeps talking about me for no fucking reason other than her own obsession and delusions. If she weren’t such a shitty human I’d have been done with all of this ages ago but she is the shittiest of humans so here we are. This is the exchange we had when I tried to talk to her to clear up the BS. All I asked was that she be honest and she even lied about her lies. That’s how fucked up she is.

So Let’s see what Dylan USMC has to say about all of this. I reach out to Dylan to talk man to man. It’s easier to have a man to man conversation when you’re dealing with an actual MAN who understands things like integrity, duty, honor, etc. Look at the BS mealy mouthed shit he says. He never actually answers a question. A simple “no we never fucked” would have sufficed but instead he dances around the questions never saying “yes we fucked; she lied to me” instead he bitches out. All the crayon eaters I’ve trained with are stand up guys. Why someone, like him would protect a POS like Arianna who obviously lies and causes unnecessary drama, is beyond me.

I would have respected him if he’d said “It’s not my place to comment on what a woman does sexually whether it’s with me or not”. That’s an honorable position. Instead he deflects by saying he doesn’t have anything going on (currently). When I point out that there are questions unanswered, he bitches out and blocks me. Semper Fly trench wench.

Obsessed #2

Published by PuddyTat on December 18, 2019

Here we have drunk and delusional Arianna making ridiculous claims again about “someone” being obsessed with her.

She makes several claims about “someone who’s severely obsessed with [her]” but doesn’t say who that someone is. Let’s go ahead and presume, for a minute, that she might be talking about me and referring to this website (www.ariannafolsom.com). Let’s see how her claims’s checkout.

Her assertions

  • @0:55 “…messages me every fucking day”
    • I do not message her. In fact I have her blocked on every service we used to use to communicate except for snapchat. The only reason I haven’t blocked her on there is because I occasionally go back over our messages for content in posts
    • Either she’s completely cracked (psychologically) or she’s just playing to the crowd. I don’t know which.
    • If she really thinks I’m messaging her, she should be able to produce the messages and show them. I invite her to do so
  • @1:12 “…took over my website…for my business”
    • I didn’t take over any website. I did register a domain name. She’s so vapid that she doesn’t understand the difference but here I’ll explain. The domain name (ariannafolsom.com) was available for purchase from the registrar that handles the ‘.com’ top level domain (TLD). She could have registered the domain (I even recommended that she do so when we were together) but she was too drunk and high to ever do anything productive. There was nothing to “take over”, she’s just inept.
  • @1:22 “…could get you into serious legal trouble”
    • Uhmmm no. No, it can’t. Maybe civil trouble if someone can prove malice or defamation but baring those…. no
    • If Arianna thinks that I can get into serious legal trouble for this site, I cordially invite her to take her best shot at making that a reality. She has my address so she can easily have me served with papers.
  • @1:53 “…he made one for my manic models website, which is my company”
    • Nope. Just nope. I’ve never done anything with manic models and creating websites.
  • @2:15 “…he pretended to be you on…hackers website”
    • I don’t think she knows what she’s talking about but even so, nope. I don’t have time to be impersonating anyone. I’ve never done that but it helps her “I’m a victim” narrative so…

Who’s the obsessed one?

Published by PuddyTat on November 30, 2019

Arianna would love to have everyone think that I’m obsessed wither because she can’t address the fact that she’s a shitty person who treats people like shit. Her chosen course of action, instead of trying to be a decent human being, is to lob unsubstantiated personal attacks. Her we examine her claim that I’m obsessed with her.

Please don’t go poking the bear

Published by PuddyTat on November 26, 2019

I’m sick of people sending me screenshots and recordings of their attempts to harass Arianna or people connected to her. Please stop. I’m done with her and don’t want anyone harassing anyone on my behalf. I’ve spent the last month trying to forget her. Why on earth would I want anyone to do anything that might make me have to speak to her or anyone connected to her ever again?

I don’t hate her. I just don’t care about her. Yes what she did was fucked up but she’s mentally a child so what would one expect?

This site is here simply because she put my life in danger and I needed to tell my side of the story. It’s not about harassing, embarrassing her, or getting back at her or anything else. It’s JUST about me telling the truth about her and the BS she put me through. That’s for me. I needed the truth to be out there, for me. Maybe some will see it, maybe it’ll go unnoticed. I don’t actually care. There are a few key people that I’ve asked to look at specific things but other than that it’s not a priority for me.

If you have an issue with her, personally, take it up with her. Use your words and have a conversation. If you thought you were supporting me by doing that shit, stop it and instead try to understand her and maybe be a positive influence in her life. I can’t because I’ve been burned but you don’t have the history with her that I do. Life is too short to be vindictive and petty.

If life is too short to be petty why use her name?

  1. The domain was available
  2. I told Arianna in all the back and forth that if I needed to defend myself I’d do so on a grand scale. This domain is the tip of that iceberg.
  3. Sure there’s a bit of “fuck you” in it. Maybe that’s too petty and small minded but hell. I lived through the BS I talk about here. You haven’t. If you go and attack/harass her you’re doing exactly the same shit that Anna did to me. It’s not right no matter which side it comes from.

How long will you keep the site up?

I’m not sure. I didn’t make the site with an expiration date in mind. I started getting death threats and decided on several courses of action. One of them was to get the site ready in case I wasn’t able to discuss things rationally with the people around Ari who can think logically. Once it became clear that wouldn’t work I launched the site and started telling my side of the story.

I have no plans about anything other than getting the truth out there.

I’m not negotiating with anyone about acquiring it or taking things down.

I’m not trying to monetize any of the content. I’m not trying to drive traffic here.

I’m not willing to discuss anything I post here with anyone connected to Ari except for the heads up I sent to her mother letting her know that things had progressed to the point where I had to tell my side of things.

I’d been getting daily death threats for almost 2 weeks straight across 4 different platforms. After my post on Sunday I haven’t gotten a single one. Maybe that’ll change, I don’t know. If I feel like I have no further need to let my side be known, I may shut it down.

Are you saying you’re not obsessed with getting back at her?

No, I’m not obsessed with her. I’m not obsessed with getting back at her.

I’m obsessed with the truth. That’s about it.

Do I think that she is a shitty person? Yes, but being shitty to shitty people is still you being shitty.

Put another way: Everything about my experience with her tells me that she’s a piece of shit. Do you go around kicking every piece of shit you see on the sidewalk or in people’s yards? I hope not. Kicking pieces of shit get’s shit on your shoes. You do that enough and you start to look/smell like a piece of shit. I’d rather avoid the shit all together. Sometimes we’re forced to deal with shit but there’s no need to prolong your exposure.

One final thought

Suicide is a real thing. Some people have an obsession with being dead. Some have a fleeting crisis that suddenly triggers the desire to be dead. If you can prevent someone from acting in that momentary crisis, statistically speaking, they are very unlikely to ever attempt serious self harm in the future.

Do you want to be responsible for creating that temporary crisis for someone? A cruel word from someone that you don’t know; someone being malicious to you when you’ve never done anything to them; feeling like the world is against you because a group of people is harassing you. That could push someone over the edge. Do you want their blood on your hands?

Brief overview of the breakup drama

Brief overview of the breakup drama

Published by PuddyTat on November 24, 2019

This is only a (not-so)quick breakdown of the drama milestones between myself and Arianna. It’s a quick accounting for the purposes of establishing a timeline. I don’t have time to go into detail on each issue. Other posts will cover that. If you just want to know “what happened” this is the post for you. If you want “proof” of anything, there’s some here but more will be provided in subsequent posts.

Prologue

I don’t want to be making this post. I’ve tried multiple times to engage cooler heads in Arianna’s life to avoid getting to this point but she’s a master manipulator and they all thought that I had some hand in this drama. I’ll state it for the record: I’ve done nothing to antagonize Arianna ever. She did get upset with me when I threatened to expose her lies by posting images and she claimed that the reason she wanted them down was because of the risk of losing her son. The reality is that she wanted to make sure that no one knew she was lying because she valued her new relationship with Anna over telling the truth. That’s fine it’s her choice to make but because she created an environment where her followers feel comfortable making death threats against me I’ve had to spend 4 days talking to law enforcement and letting them pour through my phones. Nothing I post here is anything that law enforcement in 3 different jurisdictions hasn’t seen already.

Despite what some will think. This site isn’t here to harass or embarrass her. I never wanted to be in the position of making this information publicly available. Arianna let her delusions get the best of her and because she has a fear of being abandoned she refused to clear the air and come clean about the fantastical assertions she made when she was being emotional and irrational. I have no problem with her loosing her shit and lashing out. It’s part of the package I accepted when I got involved with her. I do have a problem with her not telling the truth once she’s calmed down. The only reason this site exists is because she wouldn’t tell the truth so I have to. That’s the only thing I ever asked for — the truth.

Our Relationship

I was a friend and confidant to Arianna beginning around spring 2018. She ended up in a toxic relationship with a fellow streamer named Victoria. I knew and supported them both and when they started having problems Arianna would confide in me. At some point (around October 2018) Victoria and Arianna broke up. Weeks later she declared that I was her boyfriend in one of her livestreams. I brushed it off as her being either drunk or emotional (maybe both) and didn’t say anything until she made the same declaration less than a week later while I was participating in her live stream.

We met up in December 2018 and hashed out a few things about our relationship. I won’t go into great detail here but there were a few key points relevant to the rest of this post.

  1. We’re both non-monogamists. She identifies as “polygamist” and I identify as “polyamorous”. I’m not going to spend time explaining those here. Suffice it to say that I’m married and my wife is fully informed of the dating that I do. Arianna is/was free to date anyone she wanted. I made no claims on her body. The one thing I’d asked was that she be upfront and honest with me about anything sexual that happened with men. She always told me that she had no desire to be with men and that if anything sexual was going to happen with a male it would be with me. That was her claim, not mine.
  2. She’s a lesbian and not interested in sex with men. I am a guy. I’ve been in multiple asexual relationships and that’s how I approached this relationship with Arianna. She later told me that she’d be willing to have sex while she’s drunk and I told her that I’m not comfortable with doing anything drunk that we don’t do sober. She insisted that it was ok and that she was telling me then that I had her permission to engage in sexual activity if she initiated it when she was drunk and I told her that I’m just not interested in that sort of thing. I’ve had multiple lesbian girlfriends and FWBs in the past that were interested in receiving oral pleasure without any penetrative sex. When I mentioned that as a possibility she said she’d consider it but we’d have to build up comfort and trust. For my part I viewed out relationship as strictly asexual.
  3. I’m not out as Poly to my family but I’d rather be outted as poly than to deny having a relationship with her when it comes to my family. My wife’s family is a different matter and it’s not up to me to out us. She understood and mentioned that she wouldn’t feel comfortable advertising our relationship on her social media outlets (meetme/Skout, Instagram, etc) because she felt she’d be judged by lesbians as not being a “real lesbian” and she wanted to find a lesbian wife. Specifically a lesbian wife because she had a history of bixesual/pansexual women leaving her for men. I was fine with her not advertising our relationship as long as she didn’t deny our relationship. She told me that her concern was only with Lesbian AND that once she had built up trust and understanding with the women she was interested in seeing she could then tell them about our relationship.
    1. Something to note here. When we had the conversation it was very specifically “with lesbians” that she would wait to explain our relationship. I found out later that she’d basically lied about us telling everyone that I was “just a friend” or “a special friend who helps me out…” making it sound like I was her sugar daddy.
    2. She later claimed that she and I had “Clear communication about the fact that we didn’t have to tell anyone about our relationship” which is utterly absurd. We never agreed to any such thing. Anyone who knows me would know that I’m not going to invest my time and energy into building a life partnership with someone who would hide the fact that we’re together.
  4. This is a life partnership. I wasn’t interested in being just a boyfriend or a passing fancy. I prefer committed relationships where we can work together to build a better future. She and I both agreed that this was a real relationship built with the intent to last for decades. We’d work out our issues like adults and build an environment where she and her son could have consistency and stability given her history of volatile relationships with women.

Danny/Vidcon [June – July 2019]

Things were mostly ok from December 2018 up through June 2019. I’d go back and forth to see her in Southern California from time to time and in June it felt like we’d rounded a corner on physical affection. I never pushed or pressured her to have physical contact with me. I’d kiss her shoulder from time to time but that was about it for me initiating anything physically. The first few nights I was there on the June trip she would lie against me in bed, which she hadn’t done previously. I made a mental note to bring it up later.

A few days into my June trip decided to drink and go live. I ordered food for us and we had fun during the stream. Unfortunately she has a habit of getting blackout drunk. She’s frequently abusive and there were three separate incidents that happened with her in that state while I was there.

  1. One night she bit me, threw food at me, and started trying to stab me with crab legs. When I told her about it she was mortified
  2. That same night she came on to me sexually in a really aggressive manner. I mean SUPER aggressive. Like an idiot I tried to reason with her. When I said it wasn’t a good idea she got abusive again and started calling me names and pushing me.
  3. Another night, similar thing. She got drunk, grabbed my hand and put it on her crotch. When I asked what she was doing she said something like “god I wanna fuck a hot chick” when I said “I’m not a hot chick” she said “no you’re not” with this really cruel laugh. Then she asked me if I thought I could “eat pussy withouth trying to fuck me” it was all rather humiliating and I chose not to bring it up to her.

VidCon week

In July I rented a house in Orange, CA for VidCon which she and I were both attending. The morning before we were supposed to leave from her place in San Diego County, she tells me about a secret relationship she’d had with a guy named Danny (not his real name).

According to her: She and Danny had been having sexually explicit conversations and she’d developed a crush on him but didn’t want to act on anything physically with him. She felt bad and asked if I’d just make sure to stay by her incase Danny showed up expecting her to make good on their sexual fantasy talk.

Danny never showed up at VidCon so THAT part became a non-issue. At the end of the trip I tried to talk to Arianna about a number of issues including the betrayal with Danny (again, not his real name) and instead of being compassionate about the situation that she had created, she became verbally abusive. From that point forward, everytime I tried to mention anything related to us or our relationship she got abusive. Later you’ll see messages where she refers to either Danny (I’ve edited images that have his name and changed documents to say ‘Danny’ ) or VidCon and this is what she’s talking about. my attempt to get some clarity about our relationship after she betrayed my trust with another man for which I was subjected to abusive language.

Eventually she did at least own the fact that she created a fucked up situation.

Side Note: I now believe that all of the extra physical attention was just her guilt about the goings on with Danny. I’m not sure that’s the case but that’s what seems to make the most sense to me.

Almost dying [August 2019]

In August I was taking a road trip from Chicago,Il to Houston, TX and when I stopped at a gym to take a shower I almost passed out. After a call to my wife, I drove myself to the ER and they noticed blood clots in my chest. The hospital I was at was in Ardmore, OK and I had to be flown to Oklahoma City to be monitored and undergo a risky procedure. I called my wife to give her updates and she tried calling Arianna to let her know what was going on. My wife never got in touch with her but I did RIGHT before they put me under for the procedure. I explained to Ari what had happened and that I just wanted to talk to her one last time before they shoved a straw up my groin trying to save my life. She said she loved me and 6 hours later started asking me to help her with a computer that I’d built for her back in December. it sat around for 6 months and THAT DAY was the day she decided to try to use it and because she’d forgotten her password she bugged me while I was trying to stay relaxed and recover from having blood clots sucked out from around my heart and lungs.

She never checked up on me while I was in the hospital and it was a few days before she finally asked how I was doing.

Think about how selfish a person has to be to have someone call them to say “Hey I may die. I just wanted you to know I love you in case I don’t make it out of this procedure alive,” and they don’t even followup for days 4 days.

Abuse and Bullshit

At some point I had to write out my feelings about a number of things going on between Arianna and myself and I sent her several benign messages to let her know what was on my mind. Each time she would respond with abusive language and attack me.

Only Boyfriend [ October 4, 2019]

Finally in early October I get a series of text messages from people on meetme watching Arianna stream with a male friend of hers named Dylan. While they were streaming together someone asked if she had a boyfriend and this was her response:

When I asked her whether there was anything going on between her and Dylan, I got this as a response.

When I sent her the video clip she doubled down on the abusive approach.

I tried to get her to talk to me so that I could get clarity on what was going on but she avoided me for almost two full days.

In the meantime I addressed the issue on SnapChat:

Some time after that she finally decides to respond to me with senseless drivel turning things around so that she’s the victim. She’s really good at making it seem like she’s the victim after she does something fucked up.

Eventually she and I spoke and she apologized saying that she knew that what she did was fucked up. She wanted to try to ‘fix things’ since our relationship hadn’t been the same after VidCon. I told her, in that conversation that our previous relationship ended the second she denied me and that if we were going to have a new relationship I’d want to get some concerns addressed upfront. She suggested we put off discussing anything about it until she was here in Chicago. I told her that I’d write out my concerns for her to view at her leisure and urged her to view my story on SnapChat to see if she had any problems with what I said there.

This was her response to the snap story:

This is the (partial) contents of the note I sent her:

Her response was more of the same abusive languge and behavior except that now she added delusional assertions claiming that I was making DEMANDS. Let’s pause her for a second and take stock of the situation:

  1. My GF betrayed my trust by having a secret relationship with another man behind my back
  2. She’s denied our relationship in public, humiliating me in the process
  3. When I asked her about it she got abusive and claimed that she never did the thing she actually did do
  4. When I called her on her false assertion she continued to be abusive and attack me
  5. When I tell her that I’m lost and need to hear her voice, she responds by telling me how the guy she’s spending time with is more important than addressing my fears/concerns.
  6. When I stand up for myself and let her know that I’m not willing to be trod upon she claims that I’m making DEMANDS instead of simply telling her the conditions for my participation in a relationship.
  7. Eventually she admitted that what she did was fucked up and disrespectful but for some reason thinks it disrespectful for me to ask for a public apology.

This response came in when I was waiting to talk to her to finalize her travel plans to Chicago. Instead of calling me, she sent this senseless ramble and I had to cancel her arrangements because she wouldn’t talk to me.

It’s all delusional ranting. The “clear communication” she claims, never happened (see above for explanation). Pay special attention to the parts that she claims are “DEMANDS”. You’d think I had asked her to submit to forcible sexual contact but in fact my words were:

If we’re going to be “together”, all of the above plus:

I’m not interested in ‘dating’ only in ‘partnering’ for life. That means a whole different approach to  commitment and responsibility in the relationship — There is a difference between polygamy and not caring. I’m fully in support of an open relationship but open means open communication as much as it means open to exploring relationship with other people.

I’m not taking a back seat on physical intimacy anymore. If you can’t be comfortable being physical (not sexual) with me then you don’t deserve my time and attention

Start of the Arianna Driven Drama [Oct 22, 2019]

A few days later she and I try talking to resolve some issues but she had invited company over to her place and wanted to put OUR conversation on hold. I was fine with this because honestly I just wanted closure so that I could move on with my life and get her out of it. There was no going back at this point given the way I’d been treated. While I was waiting for her to get back to me I noticed her announcement on SnapChat that she was in a new relationship with Nugget, the girl she’d invited over during the time that she would have been in Chicago with me. I call her out on the odd timing and the fact that she had JUST told me, days ago, that she wasn’t going to discuss her relationships in public anymore yet there she was announcing that she was with Nugget after blowing me off and denying our relationship.

  • October 17th
    “…I officially refuse to tlk about any relationships I’m in…” — Arianna
  • October 22nd
    “Me and nugget are officially together…”
  • me just trying to get her out of my life for good

Notice how she claims that I “rejected” her. She decided not to help me finalize her travel arrangements effectively canceling her trip to Chicago. How she can have the gall to claim I rejected her is beyond me. This is a common pattern with her though. Every time there is conflict she falls back to one of two modes:

  1. “I’m a mother” / “I’m a single mother” / “I’m a single mother of a child with special needs”
  2. Making a patently false assertion that if she says it with enough conviction, she thinks it’ll become true or at least go unchallenged

This was her ranting on her live stream right after I sent that text message

I was hurt but I thought “finally I can move on”. The next day I get a bunch of new friend requests on SnapChat. I accept a few of them and one turns out to be a girl that Arianna had asked me to help. Arianna and I had an understanding about her wanting to hookup with women and I was happy to facilitate. Anna was a girl that I’d tried to help back in December but she seemed obsessed with trying to get me to send her large sums of money. Even though I didn’t end up helping Anna back then, I did continue to visit her live streams and send her gifts. I was her #1 gifter for almost a year until recently when Arianna surpassed me.

Anyway, when I saw that it was Anna who had added me on SnapChat, I figured I’d do her a solid and let her know that I’m not on speaking terms with Arianna. I never had a personal issue with Anna despite the fact that Arianna had lampooned Anna and avoided her.

The response I got from Anna was vile and detestable. That’s about as nicely as I can put it:

In the video Anna claims that Arianna told her that I was trying to get people to hate her (Ari). When I confonted Arianna about it she said that she knew I’d never do that but that her emotions got the best of her. I made the mistake of thinking that Arianna would be an adult and explain to Anna that I’d never done anything wrong to her. Unfortunately Arianna is far from an adult.

Attempt to clear the air

I thought that it would be nice to try to clear the air between Anna and myself so I went into her live stream and asked if we could talk. There was no malice just a genuine desire to burry the hatchet. She decided to get nasty and start spreading vicious lies about me.

I contact Arianna who refused to do anything about Anna except for tell me to ignore it.

Let’s take another second here to pause and find out where we are:

  1. Arianna, who has a history of being abusive and delusional, brings in a third party to our conflict under false pretenses. She lied to Anna telling her that I was doing something I wasn’t (trying to get people to hate her).
  2. When that person attacks me and defames me by spreading lies, Arianna’s response is “it’s not my job to say my friend lied”
  3. And she claims that it’s an issue between Anna and myself.
  4. She’s more concerned with offending Anna (who attacked me without provocation) than telling the truth and setting the record straight.
  5. I gave Arianna a year of my life as a dedicated and attentive partner. It was all bullshit to her but it was real for me. Her allowing Anna to disrespect our relationship in this way with the things she’s saying is a bridge to far. I can never reconcile with Arianna based on that alone.

I tell Arianna that that’s not an acceptable response. If she won’t tell the truth, I will. I start posting our private communications to let it be known that what Anna is saying is a lie.

At some point Arianna sees my posts and claims that one of them could get her child taken away if seen by the wrong person. What she’s actually doing is trying to censor me so that Anna and everyone else doesn’t realize how shitty a person she’s being. I offer to let her edit the images and send them back to me and she refuses.

Instead she runs to her mother’s place, tells her mother that PuddyTat is being mean and I get the following messages.

After that I don’t contact Ariana anymore. People sent me screenshots and recordings of her live stream where she’s talking shit about me but I mostly ignore things. I want to make it clear here that I got many many messages over the course of maybe a week and a half where Arianna was talking shit about me. It was a constant thing. She’d frequently say “a person” or “someone” but everyone knew that she was talking about me. This is the environment she built with her delusional ramblings. Every time someone would critique her behavior or harass her she’d act as if I had sent them and even say “oh I wonder who sent you.” This built an environment of hate and resentment toward me that based on nothing more than her idiocy and desire to be accepted by others.

Finally someone tells me that Arianna is going to get me killed by telling her followers that I’m trying to get her child taken away.

Then I start receiving death threats.

That’s about it

That is the entirety of my involvement with the Arianna conflict. I’ve left out the numerous times I reached out to people to try to deescalate the situation. I’ve not mentioned every single exchange, particularly those where I say things like “I want you out of my life, I wish you well”.

That’s not to say that my personal conduct in all of my dealings with her after the breakup were beyond reproach. I’m human and have emotions. When she let it be known that she cared more about upsetting Anna than telling the truth, I let it be known that she had broken faith with me. As a result I stopped caring about her (in toto), and I considered her an enemy and would not protect her from the consequences of her actions anymore. I stand by that to this day. I don’t care that she got with Anna, I’d been trying to facilitate that myself before all of this happened. I don’t care that she and I are not together anymore (I can’t believe I was so blind to all her bullshit). I do care that she didn’t have the strength of character to stand up and tell the truth. I also care that she allowed our relationship to be disrespected by one of her friends/partners, especially a friend/partner of hers that she asked me to help. Everything Anna says in that video is an insult to the relationship that Arianna and I had. Yes it’s over but for her to allow someone to shit on what we had built is unforgivable, for me. Anna seems to be intellectually about as bright the inside of a clogged sewer pipe. I don’t expect her to understand the gravity of her words. Arianna on the other hand should know enough to not abide that level of disrespect.

There is no fixing this. An apology won’t suffice. She and I will never be friends because of that. I would have left it alone though if she hadn’t incited people to start making death threats.

It wasn’t me

I know that she and her followers like to think that I’ve been behind the harassment that she’s seen in her live streams on MeetMe but I haven’t been. I can’t stand her. She’s frankly a disgusting human being and it pains me to watch her. I wish that weren’t the case. I used to love her but with the history of BS I’ve been subjected to because of her I just can’t bring myself to see her as anything other than a very shitty human being.

Also, two points that perhaps I shouldn’t make but I’ll go ahead and make them anyway:

First,I don’t have to harass her, or get people to hate her. I wanted her out of my life. Every time I tried to step away she did something to bring me back into contact with her. If I wanted to mess with her or fuck up her ability to livestream, I’d just shutdown her network. I built her network at her home. I can control it remotely if I were so inclined. I’m not and I haven’t but if I wanted to fuck with her it’d be easier to slow down her internet traffic or shut it off all together than to waste time talking shit about her. Alternatively, I’m a software developer who specializes in process automation and API design. What that means for the lay person is that I have the tools and skill set to automate harassment. If I wanted to harass her I would write bots to look for her streams and go in and spam automatically in perpetuity. If they got blocked/banned I’d have them respawn and create new fake accounts all automatically. She’s not worth my time.

Secondly, She and I spent a year together. I know all her dirty little secrets. If I wanted to get her kid taken away he would have been. Arianna knows that there are very specific things I know that are in fact actionable and could result in her kid being taken away from her. There may or may not be video of her live stream with her holding a gun to her head. There may or may not have been a conversation with her detailing how she was too drink to pick up her son but did it anyway. There may or may not be evidence of her being so drunk and fucked up after drinking while streaming that she forgot to pick up her son from school and had him waiting for an hour and a half alone. Anyone who wants to get her kid taken away can just watch her stream on any day that she drinks. It’s not hard.

She’s a drama queen and she lives to manipulate people’s sympathies. It’s much easier to get a “ohhh you poor baby” while saying “PuddyTat is trying to get my kid taken away” as opposed to “PuddyTat posted something that I’m afraid will expose me as an emotional and delusional piece of shit who turned her back on the one person who gave her everything and never asked for anything in return”

Maybe you think I’m going over the top there. This is what her ex GF had to say about her right after THEY broke up. I’m not the only one she’s done this to

Epilogue

I’ve left out many details. Some because, while they are important, they don’t contribute directly to the points raised here. I’ll probably cover them in other posts. Others were left out because I don’t have the sort of “hard evidence” to make them tent pole claims. I’m working on getting the evidence to for the following:

  1. I mention above that Arianna would lie about our relationship and basically give people the impression that I was her sugar daddy. After i made my statement on SnapChat (October 7) I had several people reach out to me saying many things and I disregarded most of them. One person had audio of Arianna saying something like “Why do you think I’m with PuddyTat? I mean I’m not with him but he says he’s my boyfriend and yeah I let him. Do you know how much he does for me and my son?” she then proceeded to talk about how I order them groceries and food and buy special things for her son. I do not know where the audio came from. It sounded like it was at an event, maybe an industry dinner or something. The audio was played for me over a SnapChat call and I didn’t record it. I’ve asked the person for a copy but haven’t gotten a response. Part of me wonders whether it was at the MeetMe rooftop party at VidCon because it was very loud and difficult to make out most of what she was saying but it definitely was her. If you were there or know who made the original recording, please let me know.
  2. If anyone has video of her live streams from mid-late October where she’s talking shit about me, I’d love to see it.

Too Little Too Late

Published by PuddyTat on November 16, 2019

The above is a message Arianna (apparently) posted on SnapChat and MeetMe after weeks of bashing me, talking trash, and letting people in her box make threats against me.

Ari does not have the poise and composure to craft such a missive so I thank those in her life with enough insight and wisdom to write that.

Unfortuately it hasn’t had any effect on the threats against my life. I’m still getting them.

Note the date (November 13 [2019]). Back in October when we broke up Ari thought I was behind some of the harassment that she’d seen in her livestreams. I told her up front that I hadn’t done or said anything to antagonize her or encourage others to. I even offered to make a stand publicly to let people know that I wished her no ill. I was ignored for over a week.

The problem with her statement is that it does nothing to undue the damage caused by her and the environment she created. Yes, perhaps she’s stopped talking shit about me but she didn’t say anything about all that shit being unwarranted in the first place. The people who decided to harass and attack me have no idea that she’s the one who created this whole situation and I’ve simply been responding as things come at me.

I tried to avoid all of this multiple time.

The Wrath

Published by PuddyTat on November 16, 2019

So after lying and claiming that I was trying to get her child taken from her she let her friend make the following statement unchallenged. Since then I’ve been getting death threats

Blackmail???

Published by PuddyTat on November 16, 2019

OK let’s understand this. She’s claiming that it’s blackmail to ask someone to tell the truth when they create a situation that results in you getting attacked unprovoked and for no reason. OK… sure

If you won’t tell the truth, I will. Plain and simple

Anna Just “Lashed out”

Published by PuddyTat on November 16, 2019

Ok let’s take a second to understand what Arianna is saying here.

  1. She brought someone into our internal issue. Someone who had zero business being involved
  2. That someone attacked me based NOT on what actually happened but on Arianna’s interpretation of what happened
  3. After that person attacked me, I taunted them and Arianna thinks we should be even. They attacked me unprovoked about something that wasn’t their business and that they didn’t have a clear understanding of. My taunting her was reactive. that’s not even remotely close to even.
  4. She’s willing to throw me under the bus because she has a new friend who wants to protect her

RubyScabs

Published by PuddyTat on November 16, 2019
Here’s a snake named Ruby Dabs who pretended to be neutral and when I told her that there were death threats revealed herself to be a op4. I’d love to know what she thinks I actually did.

Another threat from one of her followers. This time it’s a Bouncer in her live stream on MeetMe

Truth Be Told

Published by PuddyTat on November 16, 2019

This is the placeholder for my side of the story related to the harassment and bullying I’ve experienced at the hands of Arianna, her friend Anna, and the death threats from her followers.

I happen to be traveling right now so I won’t be able to post much right away. I’ll be working on a video detailing the breakup and unprovoked attacks as well as the defamation and death threats.

What’s the goal here?

It’s simple. I started getting death threats about a week ago after my ex (Arianna) kept badmouthing me in her live streams on MeetMe.

  1. I want the death threats to stop
  2. I want her to publicly apologize for putting my life in danger and lying about me
  3. I want her to acknowledge the lies she fostered by her friend Anna
  4. I want her to publicly retract all the BS she’s said about me

Once that happens I’ll have no need to tell my side of the story. Until it happens I’ll keep publishing here.